Stinky Pee

What is stinky pee? That's a good question! To be specific it is urine that emanates an unpleasant odor. Now some folks might go on a tirade about the relativeness of "stink" being in the nose of the inhaler, but for our purposes we are going to make the statement that eating asparagus makes one's urine have a very distinct and powerful odor. In our collective opinion that odor is stinky.

SO... since we love asparagus and it recently became in season, it was time for stinky pee. We made a dazzling collection of asparagus containing dishes!

My lovely female companion Sarah and I got us started with some killer apps.

philo wrapped asparagus with herbed goat cheese and tender love. (Sarah can elaborate)


Asparagus-goat cheese puff pastry yummies

This is dead simple to make. Buy a box of puff pastry, i.e. Pepperridge Farm, from your grocer's freezer (note: I intended to make phyllo-wrapped yummies but darned if those boxes don't look alike in the freezer), thaw it out according to the directions on the box. Meanwhile, let your little log of goat cheese come close enough to room temperature so that you can mush whatever flavorings you want into it. I used lemon zest, basil and black pepper. Take your asparagus and cut them into about 2"-3" spears.

When that's done, cut the pastry into squares about 2"x2". For each yummy, smear about 1t. goat cheese in the middle of the pastry, top with asparagus, and pinch the opposite ends of the pastry square together. You can even use egg wash to ensure a perfect seal. Bake at whatever temperature and for however long Ye Olde Pepperidge Farm says ye shall.



of course the Edog has to fatten up the crowd with maple dijon glazed asparagus bacon daddies! HOLLA!!!


TO MAKE THESE THINGS REQUIRES:

A WHOLE LOT OF PATIENCE AND TACT

A LOT OF ASPARAGUS

ONE PACKAGE OF YOUR FAVORITE BACON

ONE BOTTLE OF CLASS A DARK MAPLE SYRUP

ONE JAR OF HIGH END DIJON MUSTARD

ONE PACK OF TOOTHPICKS

PREP:

soak the toothpicks in water for about ten minutes before preparing the daddies.

slice the bacon into half strips. remove the bigger pieces of fat with a badass chef knife. (really go to town with trimming them up) trim to taste.

cut the top three inches of each asparagus branch off and pile them in a bowl.

mix equal parts maple syrup and dijon in a small dish. (this all depends on how many daddies you are preparing.)
now...

EXECUTION:

carefully wrap the half bacon strips around each 3" asparagus top. you need to cover the whole thing so we found it best to "barber shop pole" wrap them at a 45 degree angle from top to bottom. (if that doesn't make sense, just wrap 'em however)
use the soaked toothpicks to secure each end of the bacon to the asparagus.

"""""the best way we found to do this is to slowly turn the toothpicks as you penetrate the asparagus stalks.
that way you won't split them"""""

lay the raw daddies out in an oven pan.

preheat your oven to 400 degrees (f)

put the pan in the oven once it has heated.

bake it for 10 minutes and check the crispness of the bacon.

continue baking for 3 to 5 minutes at a time until the bacon is crisp.

once the bacon is crisp, pull out the pan and glaze all of the asparagus bacon daddies heavily with the maple dijon mixture.

return the pan to the oven for 3 to 5 minutes, until the glaze browns and crisps over the bacon.

allow the daddies to cool a bit.

eat them.





Don't forget about the dynamic duo PatCat with amazingly delicious asparagus maki!


Matthew Armstrong came through with a main dish of scrumptious grilled pork chops layering a bed of al dente asparagus which took the load off those worried about getting full from asparagus alone, although i don't think anyone has ever left a 62 meet hungry in the past. (not much asparagus to be seen here, but it is indeed beneath the meat flaps.)


Jaysus with some wicked risotto stinky pee style!


I can't figure out what happened but somehow i missed getting a shot of Kitty's pure side asparagus dish. Farts!! You can see a bit of it on the top of the plate shot at least.


My pee smelled so bad after this that i actually couldn't tell what good or bad smells were anymore!

help me touch this up yall, thanks!

next week...... Grill Off!!!

L8.

edog.


Asparagus-goat cheese puff pastry yummies


Risotto Alla Primavera

Velvety risotto shows off the flavors and textures of young spring produce.
INGREDIENTS
6 1/2 cups (about) vegetable broth
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, divided
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
1 8-ounce onion, chopped
1 medium leek (white part only), sliced crosswise into thin rings
2 stalks green garlic, chopped, or 1 garlic clove, minced
2 cups arborio rice or carnaroli rice 1/2 cup dry white wine
1 cup 1-inch pieces thin asparagus
1 cup freshly shelled small peas or petite frozen peas (about 1/4 pound)
1/4 cup chopped fresh Italian parsley
3/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese, plus additional for serving

PREPARATION
Bring broth to simmer in medium saucepan. Cover; keep warm over low heat. Melt 1 tablespoon butter with oil in heavy large saucepan over medium-low heat. Add onion, leek, and garlic. Sauté until wilted and almost tender, about 6 minutes. Add rice; stir until rice is translucent at edges but still opaque in center, about 3 minutes. Add wine; simmer until almost all liquid is absorbed, stirring often, about 1 minute. Add broth 1 cup at a time until rice is about half cooked, allowing each addition to be absorbed before adding next and stirring often, about 9 minutes. Stir in asparagus, peas (if using fresh), and parsley. Continue adding broth by cupfuls and stirring until rice is almost tender, about 6 minutes longer. Add peas (if using frozen). Cook until rice is tender but still firm to bite and mixture is creamy, about 2 minutes longer. Remove from heat. Add 3/4 cup cheese and 2 tablespoons butter. Stir until cheese and butter melt. Season with salt and pepper. Serve, passing additional cheese alongside.